ni Salma Alawi
“It’s not that we don’t trust the MNLF anymore. What I’m saying is, it’s not within their powers to help us. Especially if you are up against politicians.”
Early this year Lunsad was able to interview Fatima, one of the survivors of the 2009 gang rapes in Sulu. It was a sad encounter. She did not want to talk; but we wanted to talk. She would rather that the whole thing be buried behind her, it is much too painful to recall, she said. Her mother too would rather that we find for her a scholarship that would allow her to take up Midwifery so that she can perhaps work abroad as care giver and forget. We had our way: we talked, she talked, her mother talked. The following are excerpts from our exchanges.
Salma: Can you tell me why you said you would rather not talk about it?
Fatima: I am afraid. They might retaliate and come after my family.
Salma: Do you feel angry towards what has happened?
Fatima: I want to kill them all. But I cannot do it.
Salma: But suppose someone volunteers to do that, that wouldn’t be possible either, right? They will come after your family?
Fatima: Yes.
Salma: Don’t you have relatives who can help?
Fatima: I have, but they’re also afraid.
Salma: Yes. Because you are up against very powerful people.
Fatima: Yes. Politicians.
Salma: That’s true. Did it ever enter your mind to seek the help of... well, but then there are no women MNLF here, right? But did you think of seeking the help of the MNLF?
Inah: They don’t have the power.
Salma: Against politicians?
Salma: But they used to do that. Right, Reham? The MNLF used to do that, say if someone had been raped, they take up the case, exact justice for the victim, right? They don’t do that anymore?
Rehamna: They don’t anymore. Maybe they are just waiting for people to approach them and seek their help.
Salma: Then why didn’t you approach them for help?
Rehamna: We did not seek their help because the victims’ families also did not ask us to. Had they asked, we would have gone there to get help.
Salma: I see.
Salma: (to Fatima’s mother) Why was that, Inah?
Inah: They can do nothing.
Salma: You don’t believe anymore that the MNLF is in a position to help you?
Inah: No. It’s not that we have no trust in the MNLF. What I’m saying is, it’s not within their powers to be able to help us. Especially if your enemies are politicians. I think there’s really nothing that the MNLF can do.
Salma: Is that so? But they are revolutionaries.
Inah: There is nothing they can do, Dear.
Salma: Nothing?
Rehamna: What I know is, they are revolutionaries and not legal like us.
Salma: (to Fatima) Did they pay you so that you won’t talk?
Fatima: No.
Salma: Because they knew that you won’t talk.
Inah: Even if they pay me one million they cannot return what they have taken away from my daughter. They abused her and had robbed her of her dignity.
Salma: You were also not compensated, say...for instance, as part of asking for forgiveness.
Fatima: None.
Salma: None? Isn’t that that in Islam if you had committed an offense you are supposed to give blood money and ask for forgiveness. Isn’t it?
Fatima: Sara.
Sitti: Justice system
Inah: I didn’t bring that up [to the Sharia Court] because I was afraid of violence.
Rehamna: They are afraid of a violent break-out. It might set off a violent confrontation between families. Rido.
Sitti: Ya. Family feud.
Salma: I see. Because once you report to the armed group and they take the case up, it means war. Everyone will be up in arms.
Rehamna: Yes. That’s what they are afraid of. It’s not because they don’t trust the MNLF.
Inah: We cannot fight.
Rehamna: That’s what they’re so afraid of.
Salma: Besides, there will be more casualties.
Inah: Yes. They have the money, guns. They have the men. We will be slaughtered. That’s why I did not go up there to the hills to report, that’s why I did not go to the barangays. At least our relatives can see the situation and will understand.
Salma: So your relatives in the hills did not know about what had been done to your daughter?
Inah: I explained to them that nothing had been done to my daughter.
Salma: You told them that nothing has been done, nothing happened?
Rehamna: That’s how the others knew it. But most did not know about it.
Salma: And if they ask, do you tell them the truth?
Inah: I told them wala, nothing, that they gave her back to me.
Salma: You told them that it is not true.
Rehamna: Ah... she really did not tell them what happened, she just told them that her daughter had been kidnapped and was returned to her. She has to be careful about the truth.
Fatima: They will start shooting.
Salma: Yes, because your mother has got relatives, men who ask if it was true that you had been kidnapped? Right?
Fatima: Yes.
Inah: They know that she had been kidnapped, but they did not know about what happened.
Salma: Ah. They were not told she had been raped.
Rehamna: Yes.
Salma: Yes. Because the moment they know they will bring their arms out and there will be a confrontation.
Inah: Yes. And if the other party also bring out their weapons, there will be a shootout.
Salma: Right. An entire clan will be wiped out.
Inah: If there is going to be a confrontation we don’t have the money to buy arms. And if someone dies, we don’t have the money to bury him.
Salma: Yes, true.
Rehamna: Yes, they are their relatives, so they have to look after their burial, too.
Salma: Yes. Correct. Is it true that your father wanted to borrow a gun from Abdul to avenge your honor? Abdul said to me that soon after you got back home your father went to Abdul to borrow a rifle.
Inah: No, that wasn’t so.
Salma: Not true?
Inah: Not true. Abdul’s concern was that in case we would be attacked in our house, he said if we're afraid that they will come after us, he could lend us a rifle to defend ourselves.
Salma: (to Rehamna) What is she saying?
Rehamna: She said they did not go to Abdul to borrow a rifle. Because of course they are afraid. But they did not go to borrow a rifle. It was Abdul who offered them a gun to defend themselves, in case they feared that the other side went to their house.
Inah: Because Tausugs are like that.
Rehamna: He was the one who made the offer. If you are afraid, he said, I can borrow a rifle for you.
Inah: [He said] if they went to your house, I could get a rifle for you to defend yourselves.
Salma: Ah, I see.
Inah: I was afraid.
Salma: (to Fatima) Did the way you look at yourself change after what happened to you? Would you say your self-esteem went down?
Fatima: Yes.
Salma: Really? Don’t. That wasn’t your fault.
Inah: For one month she did not go out. She was full of shame, Ma’am.
Sitti: There are so many victims, she is not alone. She is lucky she came out alive.
Inah: She alone was released alive!
Salma: Yes! Count yourself lucky!
Rehamna: You should not lower your self-esteem. What happened was none of your fault.
Salma: Right. They’re the ones who ought to be ashamed! That’s what I hate. You’re the aggrieved and now you’re the one who should feel shame? Not like that, please. They're the ones who ought to be ashamed.
Inah: After a while when many people came to our house and talked to her, she felt better. She used to cry all day. She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't take anything. I would make rice porridge, because, my God, how thin she had become, her stomach shrank!
Rehamna: She said she felt better after people, women, visited her.
Inah: After they talked to her.
Salma: True. The reason why we don’t speak up sometimes is because we thought we are alone. We thought all the world looks down on us.
Sitti: True. If you let it out you will realize that it’s not just you, there are others.
Salma: You will know that you are not alone in that situation!
Inah: She just kept on crying. I said, that’s enough. You didn’t ask for it, Fatima. What is shameful is if you’re the one who went after them and was spurned. That is what’s shameful. You are not to blame, I told her. You didn’t want it. Even old women like me, I said, we can do nothing against it if they want to do it to us.
Salma: Can you say that again, Inah?
Inah: I said she would cry all day. I would tell her to stop blaming herself, she didn’t plan it. What’s not good is if she herself offered her body to them and they puked on it. That is what’s disgraceful.
Sitti: Yes. They even raped an old woman in Tanjung. She was a little out of her head and the drug addicts made a sport of her. They raped her and killed her and had her stand on her head in the sand with her legs sprawled apart. They had her body strung onto dried branches of a tree and left her there dead like that on the shore. She was raped. There was a bottle in her vagina. And she was so old, her hair all white.
Rehamna: She was a retarded. She lived in Tanjung. They raped her.
Sitti: An old woman, they had fun. They raped her then killed her then opened her legs under the sun like that. That brutal.
Inah: Day and night she did nothing but cry. She wouldn’t eat.
Salma: She lost appetite.
Inah: She could not take anything. There was food but she would not eat. I would bring her food but she would not take take any. She said I could not swallow it, Inah. I would rather die. It was good she changed her mind, she said. Now she could not bring herself to kill herself. Now she would rather that someone did it for her and would wish that someone came and killed her and finished it all for her. I said don’t talk like that.
Sitti: Don’t think like that. Life is good.
Inah: I said don’t think like that. It’s not your fault.
Rehamna: That’s true. It’s not your fault.
Sitti: And even if you want to die if God doesn’t permit that you die now, you won’t die. You should be strong. Who knows, one day God will make those rapists see what they did to you and make them suffer what you suffer now.
Inah: I pray to God that they will suffer twice, that what they did to my daughter will be done to them a hundredfold. I am grateful to God that Gasman (one of the rapists) is now getting his rewards. He got into a fight last election and was injured. And Jikiri’s son got a blackeye. I tell God, Oh Allah, give them more of the evil days they gave us.
Sitti: Jikiri lost in the last election. Their luck has run out. They are out of power now.
Rehamna: The son was hit with a slab of wood with a nail on one end.
Salma: (to Fatima) So you were able to identify all the men that raped you?
Inah: She doesn’t know them until now.
Sitti: Two families victimized her.
Inah: Some she doesn’t know.
Sitti: She doesn’t know them but we have sources.
Salma: The guy in ponytail. He was jailed, right? Was he freed?
Sitti: No. They released the other suspect.
Salma: Not the guy in ponytail?
Sitti: His mother said, I will not go home unless I take my son home with me.
Salma: (to Fatima) So you were able to identify the guy in ponytail?
Sitti: His mother has a pistol in her bag.
Salma: Whose mother was she?
Sitti: The guy in ponytail.
Rehamna: The Buclao son’s mother.
Inah: The one who was able to identify Buclao’s son was another rape victim, not my daughter.
Sitti: The one who escaped?
Rehamna: The one they were not able to rape.
Sitti: The one who ran.
Rehamna: The one who testified that even the driver was masturbating. All the men in the van were naked. When she was thrown inside the van they were all naked and even the driver was masturbating. She was kidnapped in Busbus.
Inah: All parts of her body were mashed by the men.
Sitti: Six men.
Fatima: Nine.
Sitti: She said she was not raped but all parts of her body were touched except the inside part of her vagina.
Inah: Nine men did that to her.
Salma: Their hands are dirty.
Sitti: When the van’s door opened, she jumped and ran. They could not go after her because they were all naked. The only one who was not naked was the son who went down to get something from inside the house. When the mother saw, she shouted, Now look she escaped! Go after her!
Salma: Really?
Sitti: The neighbors saw. It was noon. Twelve o’ clock midday.
Salma: They could not go after her because they were all naked.
Sitti: The rapist’s mother was so angry. I will not leave unless I bring with me my son. Over my dead body. She shouted at Fatima, You? Did you say my son raped you? How could he, my son is a fag! He’s a fag! The Mayor also said to her, Dear, you must have made a mistake, I know that boy, he is gay!
Salma: Really?
Sitti: You wonder how did he know.
Inah: When they asked Fatima to identify the rapist, it was frightening. The Police Chief was there inside and he took our side. He wanted to take our side. Then the Governor called him and asked him to leave. Then they asked all the police to leave. Only the CVOs (the Civilian Emergency Forces, the Governor’s private army) remained. You understand? Hah. They’re more dangerous because they’re Lost Command. They protect the men, the rapists, not the raped! So now they own everyone. They have everyone on their side.
Salma: What did she say? The rapists get protection? Not the raped?
Sitti: She says it was the rapists that got protection.
Inah: The victim gets no protection.
Salma: Ya. They think that way. The rapists are now endangered, that’s why they stopped the gang rape. The raped women and their families they don't think of them as endangered.
Sitti: It’s like that here in Jolo, everything upside down.
Salma: Even in other places it’s like that. The rapists are in danger now because of human rights groups so they stopped the rape for a while. How brilliant their minds.
Inah: Nah!
Salma: Imagine? The rapists as the ones who are in danger?!?
Inah: They went to the Mayor’s Office fully armed. A convoy of armed men. We were so afraid. We could not move! What can one do except leave them to God. We cannot fight them.
Sitti: You are up against government forces.
Inah: You are up against the Mayor, the Congressman, the Governor. You are up against everyone! The Board Member, the Vice Mayor, all of them. What can you do. Where will you go. They have plenty of money. They can hire a man to finish you off.
Salma: Yes. That’s true.
Sitti: One pull of the trigger.
Inah: So we postponed the case, dear. Rather that get into big trouble, make it small.
Salma: That girl that escaped, did they strip her naked?
Sitti: I think not. The moment she stepped down she ran as fast as she could.
Inah: Did she run straight to the police?
Sitti: Towards the houses where there were many people. So they were not able to go after her.
Salma: They made a mistake. They were all naked, haha. (Laughter)
Sitti: They were all high in drugs.
Inah: They showed her their private parts.
Salma: And the driver was masturbating?
Sitti: Before they use a woman they take drugs first.
Inah: And then people say that they got money. They were paid, so they did not talk.
Salma: After that girl escaped, she went straight to their house? Then she reported to the police?
Rehamna: No. That’s the one who sought the protection of the Mayor.
Salma: Ah, the one under the Mayor’s custody. Okay.
Rehamna: She’s the one they paid.
Salma: The one they sent away?
Sitti: It must be easier for her because she was not raped.
Rehamna: Because she’s married. She is married to a foreigner, an Arab.
Salma: She was married?
Rehamna: Yes. At the time she just came back from Saudi.
Salma: How old was she? Did you say nineteen?
Rehamna: I cannot remember anymore, but that’s the story. That she was married to an Arab. And the reason they did not rape her was because she told them that she’s two-months pregnant and that she’s married to an Arab.
Salma: I see.
Rehamna: Yes.
Salma: But it isn’t true.
Rehamna: It isn’t true that she was pregnant, but it’s true that she’s married. She’s the same one who retracted her statements because she was paid.
Salma: But what the Mayor said... that the rapist was a fag? That’s a nice one.
Sitti: Ya. He said he is a fag, he could have not raped you.
Salma: Lord, they go after us for this. Rumour-mongering! (to Fatima) Wait. Before that happened, did you have a boyfriend?
Fatima: None.
Salma: None? C’mon, tell me the truth. You liked no one? Before that happened, was there someone?
Fatima: None. I had suitors but I liked no one.
Sitti: Dedma. No like. Haha.
Salma: You don’t like them.
Sitti: Not her type.
Salma: What’s your type?
Fatima: None.
Salma: None. Okay. Me, too. No like. (Laughter)
(For the original Taglish-Tausug version please see: http://lunsadlupahsug.blogspot.com/2011/05)/womenspeak-on-rape.html
